Literary as hell.

Tag: litmag

The Measure of a Man, by H. Rossiter

My shoes are old and frayed around the soles. A lot like me. Frayed soles, frayed souls, my granny used to say. She noticed a man’s shoes before she noticed anything else about him, his eyes or his suit or even his hair. When I was young, I wore cap toe oxfords, spit polished. Now I wear whatever I can find in the church charity bin.

I’m proud of my hair, though. You got worth if you got good hair, is what I always say. I’m not one of those old geezers who comb a few leftover wisps of sad gray over a bald skull. Not me. I’ve got a full head. Thick and strong. It’s steel gray and been that way since I was twenty two. Haven’t felt a woman’s hands in my hair since…let’s just say it’s been a long, long time. But I see them look at it, the meals-on-wheels ladies, the district nurse. I see their fingers aching to stroke it. Until they look down and see my shoes. Continue reading

Pass the Latke stuffed Turkey! A Guide to Surviving Thanksgivukkah

With Thanksgivukkah almost upon us we at the Gazelle would like to offer explanation and guidance:

Usually, Thanksgivukkah is not a word. If that’s news to you, well that’s just silly and you should educate yourself. Read on and share in a learning experience. Typically, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving have little to do with each other. One means a day off from school, or work, or whatever, and a chance to stuff yourself with pie. The other means no day off, and a lot of goyim asking you about the real Meaning of Hanukkah (which Jon Stewart’s “Can I Interest You In Hanukkah?” pretty well sums up).

BUT: this Thanksgiving an amazing crossover event is set to occur. And here’s how you can deal with the mishegas:

Continue reading

© 2024 The Furious Gazelle

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑