Philip J. Kaplan is the author of Hollywood Musicals: Best, Worst and Unusual. His play Dante’s Inferno: The Motion Picture was published in Best Ten Minute Plays: 2011. Other plays include Welcome to Sam Pesto, Violent Overthrow of the Government (and Other Family Matters) and The Cupcake Conspiracy (w/ C.J. Ehrlich). He once spent a month in a very nice hospital in Seattle. Philip is a member of the Dramatist Guild.
With Thanksgivukkah almost upon us we at the Gazelle would like to offer explanation and guidance:
Usually, Thanksgivukkah is not a word. If that’s news to you, well that’s just silly and you should educate yourself. Read on and share in a learning experience. Typically, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving have little to do with each other. One means a day off from school, or work, or whatever, and a chance to stuff yourself with pie. The other means no day off, and a lot of goyim asking you about the real Meaning of Hanukkah (which Jon Stewart’s “Can I Interest You In Hanukkah?” pretty well sums up).
BUT: this Thanksgiving an amazing crossover event is set to occur. And here’s how you can deal with the mishegas:
Madeline and Calvin sat quietly on their sofa watching The Omen,
supposedly a horror classic but
Calvin didn’t think very much of it. The pacing was all over the place and he
found the concept of the antichrist to be dull.
“Why can’t you just have a good time on our night off? I told you I would
watch whatever you wanted, we could have watched Honey I Shrunk the
Kids for all I care, I just wanted to spend the evening with you and now
you’ve ruined it.”
Madeline went to bed. Calvin did the dishes and finished watching The
Omen, it wasn’t as slow as he originally thought, and that kid was kind of
creepy. He went in to the bedroom to apologize to Madeline but she was
pretending to be asleep so he pretended to sleep next to her.
I suppose it’s worth mentioning that Madeline and Calvin are werewolves.