The Bad Daughter Walk
Four beads on a thread,
we were that close trudging
home, separated only by
thick coats on this suddenly
spring afternoon amid the last
puddles of melted slush
and forsythias sprouting buds.
Don’t step on a crack!
We shouted as we long-stepped
sidewalk square to square
in unison as beads shove beads
when you swing the string.
You’ll break your mother’s back!
I flinched, my step floundering
as I forgot to step long in step
with you all, my mind a flurry,
my mother lying still at the foot
of the sofa, then loaded onto
the stretcher, daddy sobbing
as the minister spoke, and me
motherless and broken by
slaughtering my mother with
carelessness so of course I stepped
short and landed on the crack,
scattering the beads in the gutter.
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