The Furious Gazelle

Literary as hell.

Tag: jacob shelton

“Macklemore” by Jacob Shelton

Rap artist Macklemore has been in the news this week. This is Jacob Shelton’s take on it.
This poem will make no sense in a matter of weeks, I hope it’s published soon.
According to sources (most of the internet), Macklemore is in hot water for wearing an anti-Semitic costume at a recent performance.
In photos of the event he looks a bit like Ringo Starr and since I was never a fan of his post Beatles work the articles have gone unclicked and unread.
Also Macklemore seems like a bit of a cunt.

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James A. Garfield and Chester A. Arthur by Jacob Shelton

We’re pleased to announce our first finalist for our President’s/Valentine’s Day contest, in which Jacob Shelton envisions what would happen if James Garfield and Chester A. Arthur hit it off.

Our contest’s winner will be announced next Friday.

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Thanksgiving Flash Fiction by Jacob Shelton

Noon, November 24th by Jacob Shelton

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A Halloween Poem by Jacob Shelton

Madeline and Calvin sat quietly on their sofa watching The Omen,
supposedly a horror classic but
Calvin didn’t think very much of it. The pacing was all over the place and he
found the concept of the antichrist to be dull.
“Why can’t you just have a good time on our night off? I told you I would
watch whatever you wanted, we could have watched Honey I Shrunk the
Kids for all I care, I just wanted to spend the evening with you and now
you’ve ruined it.”
Madeline went to bed. Calvin did the dishes and finished watching The
Omen, it wasn’t as slow as he originally thought, and that kid was kind of
creepy. He went in to the bedroom to apologize to Madeline but she was
pretending to be asleep so he pretended to sleep next to her.
I suppose it’s worth mentioning that Madeline and Calvin are werewolves.

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